I should have been surprised but I am not. Willingness isn't sufficient. The perjury of the distraction came easily and it was mild. Unfortunately it collapsed the focus I was going for as the distraction was technical in nature.
I have noticed sometimes the distraction is a random word that pops in my head and I fall down that rabbit hole. How not to chase?
Labels: daily life, Honesty, life-challenge
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Focus has been a problem. Concentration has escaped me. Aloofness towards things around me is missing. And all of this is affecting my work. Its been a hard road for a serious amount of time to get where I am - a position where I can work in a schedule set by me, for clients chosen by me and work in the way I want to.
I wonder if it has led to a lack of discipline - accessibility has made take things and time for granted. I am at a point where getting an hour of absolute concentration is celebrated and needs absolute silence to achieve it. It wasn't so before. It wasn't so a decade ago when I could get in the zone with in 10 minutes and the rest of the world lay forgotten.
Is it simply a decision like everything else in life is? Like, just decide and say - "Okay. This is it. I am going to work carefully and ignore internet, phone calls and whatever else that can distract me."
Let's find out tonight.
Labels: daily life, Honesty, life-challenge
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I remember a conversation that I had with a friend over dinner sometime during May; it was about truth and honesty. His argument was - that one cannot survive by telling the truth. Also, truth by itself does not exist. Because one can come up with a logical and a very complex rule that can make truth ambiguous. An absolute truth is anything but ambiguous. All of us accept that sun rises in east. There is enough scientific evidence for that; evidence that is irrefutable. But the whole statement is based on certain set of preconceived accepted fundamental facts; east is in the direction that the sun rises. So, inherently, the statement "sun rises in the east" is always true. Thus, truth becomes a matter of perspective of a group of massive proportion and cannot be contested logically. If one would have a kind of mania for truth (for telling, I mean), then it would be from the perspective of the person in question. If a man were to hold my friend at gun point and ask me to answer a question and if by being truthful my friend could potentially die, then what power would the truth has? I have read pages and pages of articles talking about truth and honesty, but no one really talks about the price of being honest. Being honest need not be being truthful. If I tell you that I lied to you yesterday in my blog, then I am being honest. But being truthful is much difficult and the price is much costlier than one would expect. In the given social construct, one cannot be truthful. I do not agree that it is possible to utter the truth and expect that being truthful is the greatest virtue. If a man cannot empathize for another man, be it by lying or by deceit, then no amount of truth could bear the cost of comfort. I remembered this conversation today because of the predicament that I was in. I was in a dilemma as to being truthful or be a good friend. I chose to be a good friend.Labels: Honesty, Nostalgia, Truth
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