Running away

Its ironic that these were the first lines I happen to read after my decision of going hiatus from Internet altogther; after office hours that is. I really want to state a nice meaningful romantic and melancholic reason but the truth is my eyes have started to hurt a lot. They pain frequently, images and words have started to blur and migraine is out of control. I was wonderfully honest with the doctor and he looked at me as though I was insane. Not that I blame him. So his advice (which came free of cost with the eye checkup by the way) was to layoff from anything that is describled as visual media. So that means no watching latenight movies (yes, plural), no DVDs or animes or internet; book reading has to be limited. For some strange reason, I have accepted these terms and conditions. Perhaps that was my insane part of the brain that took this decision. So am now back to reading comics and writing in the traditional way. Some posts are far too private to post in a public domain anyway, but thats beside the point.
Ironically, this is my 50th post. Numbers are tangible; aren't they?

PS: The title of this post is from - Poem XIV by Catullus.

When I saw him for the first time across the crowded hall, all I wanted to do was give him a nice kick. It was lunch time already, we were tired of listening to the instructor and this guy had to ask some lame question when everyone was ready to be elsewhere. After about a week, he was in our cubicle looking for a girl who happened to be my roomate. They were supposed to meet their mentor. We were three girls sharing a cubicle. I and the other girl were left to ourselves when these two left. We looked at each other and sniggered at his attitude. Little did we know what future had instore for us! In a month's time, he and I were on talking basis. I am really not sure how it started or who started it, but yes we were talking to each other. The three of us parted to three different locations in next three months. Before leaving the town, he showed me his dream. I have treasured it as my own.
I met them after six months during a visit to that city. I hid my smile when I saw both the girl and the boy waiting for me in a hotel. He had managed to get a transfer from his town to her city. I gave him a smile which delivered my congratulations on his first move. He gave his usual "i-know" shrug. Brat. The three of us spent a good amount of time in Pizza Hut eating pizzas, drinking coke and laughing a great deal. I was thankful for both of them that they had taken time for me (an entire day!!!). When I think about it, its really weird that we are this close today. I mean apart from the initial three months that we spent together (which was mostly spent in knowing people, industry and learning technology) we never really worked together or even worked in the same city. We never met regularly but we always talked. He and I were on hiatus for a month or so and she, the ever peace keeper between us had helped us patch up. That wasn't the only time though. The three of us were in touch constantly thanks to Outlook, AirTel and MSN messenger. We shared jokes, peer gossips and the other mundane things. Things were never dull among us.
I met them on a gloomy winter day. I presented each of them a book I had got for them. He was flying and she was depressed. Both of them hid their emotions very well. He is a master in that though. He treated a lunch and presented me a dress. The three of us had a quiet evening walking down the streets. Things had changed.
In the next two years, there were calls, dinners, e-mails floating between us. And one late evening he called. He called to tell me that they were getting married. I said "Finally". All the teasings, jokes, emotional turmoil had come to an end. I assume that their wedding came as a shock to a lot of people which was damn funny to hear. They may be opposites in lots of sense but perhaps there is more to it than it meets the eye. They have been my wonderful friends for the last five years and am so glad that they ended up with each other.
I always had this question about his looks but was kind of scared to ask him. Literally. Since I know he is going to read this post, so hey, here is a question for you - "By any chance did you have any French ancestors?"
I mean seriously, he has such a good fair complexion that it gives me a complex to walk next to him. I am sure I would look like junkie next to him.
Thank You guys. Its been great knowing you and it was fantastic to tease you for such a long time. :-)

She was a great mix of funk and tradition. Her hair had colorful beads and her eyes had a thin layer of kajal. During our third semister together, I never really talked to her. We exchanged occassional hellos and customary pleasanteries during interaction. I had kept to myself most of the time to a reason which I think is completely foolish.
It was during the summer of fourth semister when I talked to her for more than a minute. We were studying in the reference section of our college for the upcoming exams. The subject that both of us were studying was particularly nasty one and had a history of a great number of fails. What started as a polite "What are you reading" and "Which books are you refereing for this subject" had led her to ask me to drop by her house for further studying. I being the person who can go from 0 to BITCH in 1.3 seconds, agreed to that offer without missing a beat. We didn't get any studying done during that afternoon, but I got to eat Idly fry for the first time in my life and enjoyed the company of a person with excellent taste in movies, music and books. We started from there and for the next two years, I had the most memorable moments of my enitre engineering-college life.
She was a great girl to be with. After that memorable afternoon, we studied for the rest of the exams, did a "kind of" industrial exposure work for a month where we laughed and gossipped more than the work that was assigned. I think my fifth semister of engineering was one where we had great amounts of fun. Both of us were studying together, writing our own notes, doing assignments and going for drives on my Luna Super (The poor thing has dragged us a great deal all over Mysore for more than two years). Sometimes, we chucked studying and spend evenings watching stars and exchanging stories of our pasts. They were all mundane stories. Stories that were normal, personal and treasured. There were times when we simply bunked classes because we were just bored of sitting through another lecture. We used to sit at home and watch a dumb movie or talk non-stop about some subject. During last year of engineering we had just withdrawn ourselves from the group of friends that we hung around with. Suddenly things that our friends did seem way too teeagish for our tastes and sometimes didn't agree with us at all. There was a difference our attitudes; our friends wanted to go out more, while we preferred much subdued set up. We declined the invitation to movies, Dhabhas, hanging around a friend's place as politely as we could. I guess we had grown up.
I have always wondered at her ability to make friends. She has a charm that attracts a lot of people. At one point I had this complex which turned out to be a minor jealosy on my part when I saw her making many new friends so effortlessly. I still can't believe that I behaved so pathetically back then. She observed it but never complained anything about it. I am thankful for her for saving me from an embarassing situation.
I trust her completely. ("Trust" is in present continuous tense :-)) I have told her things which I was scared to admit them to myself. I have cried on her shoulder when everything was too much to bear and everyone was simply annoying. She never uttered a word during those breakdowns. She simply sat there next to me waiting for me to calm down. After we started working, the communication was reduced given the differences in time zones and lifestyles. But we have made sure that things are not lost between us. After all these years, I dont think it will ever be lost. She is the kind of a person whom everyone wants to be in their team. A fantastic girl with an awesome sense of humor and acute intelligence.
I am so glad that I accepted your invitation to eat that Idly fry.
Thank you so much for being with me, in my life.

One month prior to my travel back to India, I started keeping lists. Lists of things to buy, music to download, money I owe people, contact numbers, fanfiction I am yet to read, things necessary for travel; things like these. Once back home, I realised that it was hard for me to go back to my non-list-keeping mode. I started keeping lists for every other thing. Movies to watch in 2007, recipes to cook, places to go around Mysore in one day, immediate things for the current month. Once I ran out the actual necessity of keeping lists, I started making lists for fun. For example, jobs that I cannot simply accept for any money in the world. Some of the items in the list would be - Lion Tamer, bungee jumping instructor.
From last one week, there is a new list. A list of Asian Horror movies to be watched in YouTube.
Right now am watching Wishing Stairs which is a K-Horror. I have about 19 movies lined up as of today and am hoping to finish all of these by this month end.
I have about 40+ excels each constituting a certain list. :-)

Weekend is for watching Manga, eating blackcurrent icecream, lazing around and very very minimal outdoor exposure. I was happily eating icecream and was watching "Girl from Hell" on Animax when she came. I know why my cousin was here. I had brought about an argument between her and her husbabd about valentines day. She was here for payback. I knew that from one, she was my cousin and two, she always has this evil glint in her eyes when she is plotting something. I sighed. My weekend was screwed. In 5 minutes my mom came to me and ordered to get dressed. My cousin had set up a dinner meeting with a guy and the guy was expecting me at some restaurant. Knowing that this was a payback to me, the guy would be everything I was not looking for. Not to mention a person who can easily ignite my temper. I hate my cousin from the bottom of my socks. In thirty minutes I was sitting in front of that guy. He had this bored expression on his face as though it was a great burden to tolerate my sight.
"Red or White?"
"Huh?" Not very intelligent of me right? But these were the first words from him after the basic pleasantries.
"Red wine or white wine?" He had this tone of a person who explains to a question asked by a 5 year old.
"Neither. Orange juice."
"Dont tell me you dont drink champagne either."
"Fine. I wont." Whats with the arrogance? Idiot.
"So you dont drink. Do you go clubbing?"Useless bugger would have learnt this word after going to US.
"No."
"Pubbing?" Is there even a word like that? I wondered.
"I said, I dont drink."
"Latenight partys? Atleast?"
"No. I am home always by 7 PM. Girls should not stay out of the house after dark. Its unorthodox and its not safe either." I knew this would throw him off.
"But you are in IT right? What about the times when you have project deadlines? Times when your managers have asked you to stay back?"
"I will not stay even if my manager asks me or begs me to stay. Only one day I stayed till 9 PM. In last 5 years, thats the latest I have come home. It was so bad." I think I will be a fantastic actor. I mean look at this - lying through teeth, not even flinching and flawless performance of a timid girl. A girl, everything I am not. He is surprised; I can tell.
"Thats very....different. So, you dont go to project partys at all?"
"I do. Only when they go to an all vegetarian hotel and when I can be back home by 7 PM."
"But your outlook says otherwise you know. You have this short hair, ears piercing, blue nail polish, silver chains and rings. Sort of a different outlook." Damn! Why does he have to be an annoying little observant? I blurted out a bigger lie.
"I really like long hair. You know I had hair till my waist. I used to apply oil it regularly and wear flowers that had fragrance everyday. My cousin convinced my mom that most guys like short hair so I had to get it cut. And she dressed me up today." For a second I felt awful for lying about me outrightly. But, I was lost in my own enjoyment to give it a second thought.
"Thats interesting. So what are your hobbies?"
"Watching serials in the evening and sleeping." God I am pathetic. I almost laughed at this.
"Umm...sleeping is your hobby?"
"Ummm....aahh....yes." I had the grace to blush. Thank god!
"Do you read anything?"
"I read the extra segment that we get with regular kannada paper on friday. It has movies section." I am good at script writing too. Multi talented!
"So, you read newspaper. Thats good. But any books?"
"No." He sighed.
"Do you watch movies?" There was so much of hope in his voice, I almost wanted to tell him that I was a movie addict. But then again, show must go on!!
"Only mythological ones. If I watch other movies, I will get Papa"
"Boy or a girl?" He laughed. Papa in kannada means "baby". I managed to give him a blank look as though not understanding his dumb PJ. He shook his head. Our food had arrived at this point and I nibbled on my food and even I was getting bored by this point.
"Is your life interesting?" No one had ever asked me this question before. Even in my all honest self, I could't have answered this I suppose.
"I dont know." I answered truthfully.
"Are you a spiritual person?" Suddenly the directions of questions are changed. Whats going on?
"Yes. Very spiritual infact. I have faith in certain things. And I belive my faith can help bringing out the best in me." Shit. I was not supposed to answer like that. I was supposed to give him a dumb answer. Little twerp is upto something.
"What do you speak about when you meet up with your friends." Aah...safe question again.
"I have couple of friends only. Both are girls. I don't talk to boys at all. I listen to them talk."
"Why is that? Why is that you have to be a listener all the time? Why not initiate a conversation?" I had to avoid the question. Answering that would give away too much of me and that currently is not acceptable.
I just shrugged for an answer.
"Is there anything you want to ask me? You are awfully shy by the way. Kind of rare these days." Fine. My Oscar performance is making me guilty. So sue me!!
"No. I have nothing to ask."
"Come on. I will give you a lift home. Its 8 PM already and now I know you dont like to be out so late." The drive was quiet and I had to stop myself from humming to Audioslave; my entire show would have been a waste then. Once we neared my home, he stopped and give me a small pot with a sapling of honeysuckle. I wonder where he got this plant. Its awfully rare in India.
"A small gift for you."
"Thank You." I really meant it. I felt a little guilty for playing him along the evening. He was a nice guy afterall.
But the next three words that he said had me staring at the dust of the exhaust of his car and even after it was away from my vision for about 10 minutes.
"Good night, Sookie"

I watched "Nishabd" this evening. I was pestering my regular DVD rent house guy to get this movie ASAP. I asked him for a money back when I returned this movie. Money back for watching this movie. Really, I had expected so much from this movie that it was quite disappointing. There are few scenes where AB is absolutely flawless and Jia Khan is fantastic, but trust me, its not worth it. AB looks damn guilty and JK looks bimbo-ish. I watched this movie with 2x speed (forwarding ofcourse) and was still able to see the sub-titles in fairly decent speed. Can a movie be this slow? (there is a line by Calvin-"This is so slow that if it gets even a bit slower than this, it would be going backwards. I can safely state the same thing here.) So I watched this movie in about 45 minutes. (Trailers that were shown for this movie were best in the entire movie!). I don't agree that Indian audience are not ready for winter-summer romance, but I guess we lack the maturity to bring it out entirely on the screen. In American Beauty, Kevin Spacey has this humungous crush on this daughter's best friend and he doesn't justify the reason for that. Maybe thats what I had been expecting when I was watching this movie, but it wasnt remotely similar to that. AB, does gives reasons for his behaviour which I think kinds of make him feel guilty all the time. He is quite vulnerable and JK is quite alluring in this movie.

PS: I am watching a horror movie called "The Messengers" to wash away the silence of Nishabd. A nice movie (of course I have seen it before) with awesome light (or lack of :-)) effects.

The last 24 hours have been anything less than boring. In the beginning, it was panic and then tension and then a whole deal of excitement. My bike was stolen infront of a supermarket approximately 3 minutes drive from my home. I went inside to pick up cereal and mango juice. In 15 minutes my bike went missing. I lodged a complaint in the area police station in about next ten minutes and by end of 30 mins, my vehicle number was flashed to every police jeep on patrol. It was weird though that there was one similar looking vehicle as mine standing next to where I had parked my bike. Actually when I first came out from supermarket, I had almost mistaken that vehicle as mine. My uncle came by at around 10 PM as asked me if I am in for a drive. We went to that supermarket again and stood there for about an hour. At 11 PM, every shop in that area were closed for the day and that bike was still standing. I told my uncle about my suspicion. He said, "Maybe, the guy mistook your bike for his. That may be the reason why this bike is left alone." A couple of officers came by and asked us what we were doing. We sincerely explained to him everything and he asked to try unlocking the bike. I tried and voila!! It worked. Next I opened the compartment to check if there are any items from which I can recoginze the owner. There were few recipts from a temple from a certain area. So, I drove that bike to police station and told him what I had found. He alerted that area police station to look out for my vehicle first thing in morning. We came back home with a small string of hope. I was hoping that it was all a big mistake. Well, this morning I came to know that it was a mistake.
I got a call this afternoon that my bike has been found and the person who has taken it was also there. I went there in a rush and was surprised to see my cousins husband (the guy from Valentine Encounter post). Actually it was his brother who had taken my vehicle by mistake last night. Both the vehicles were identical and the numbers were quite matching too. Everyone in police station were having a good laugh about this. I just breathed a sigh of relief.
Really, it has started to get annoying to tell people how I lost my bike. Now it will be more annoying to explain them how I got it back. Maybe I should make a pamphlet of this post. Saves my energy :-)

When things got crazy and I needed to vent...
Thanks for the ear you so kindly lent...

Some inconsiderate people have stolen my vechile. I am praying to get back my vehicle without a police complaint.

I inspected my apartment for one last time. I am not sure if I am going to miss it and I am not sure if I am going to remember any of this at all. I didn't bother to lock the tiny apartment. I decided to ditch elevator this time and take the stairs. I whistled all the way down and started walking towards my destination. I had all the time in the world and there was no hurry. Two weeks ago I had celebtrated by 34th birthday. Alone. In my apartment. I have no special someone nor a close knit family. I am an ordinary looking guy with an ordinary job and ordinary attitude. There was nothing special about me or was there anything different. Just ordinery. Plain and simple.
I reached my destination. It was a run down place. A building that was left to ruins because of some legal hassle but currently home for drug addicts, prostitutes and sheleterless kids. The thing that attracted people like me to this building was the stunning view of the city from its terrace and a damn fantastic place to jump. Yes, thats the reason why I am here. You know after some years it kind of gets boring. Doing the same thing, being alone; such a bummer. Its not like anyone is going to miss me if I end my life, would they?
I slowly make it to the terrace drenched in my own thoughts. Once I reached the top, I saw that someone had already beaten me to that point. I saw a girl, perhaps in her twenties sitting on the ledge, her back to me.
"It's a beautiful view from here, isnt it?" I was never the one to start a conversation, but today nothing ever mattered. And then, she looked at me. It was truly beautiful. Her mascara had merged with her tears was running down her cheeks leaving a black trail at its wake. Her lips had the reddest of the red lipstick which was smudged on her chin. Her attire was truly atrocious. She had these fishnet stockings which had holes as big as my life, a cheap dress and unkept hair. She smelled of cheap perfume, cigarettes and alcohol. Her eyes, I could get lost in them. She was so beautiful. She was broken.
"You are beautiful." If there wasn't such a ruckos in this building, she would have definitely heard me mentally slapping myself. Can I get any lamer? Really!
"I know what I am. But thanks anyway." I gave her a tiny smile. I was full of bravery today. I know how people think that its only a coward who can think of giving up his life but then why is everyone so damn scared of dying? Mustering up with whatever courage I had, I told her.
"You are imperfect in every imaginable way. You are a hooker, with no family, no home, no education and no respect in society. The men you see in your profession have reduced you to this. The scars on your body is nothing compared to the scars on your mind. You have been reduced to this bundle of pain and mess. Every cell in your body screams of imperfection and being an outcast. Then again, I have never been a fan of perfection. There is a beauty in everything that constitutes to your imperfection. There is a fragility in your stance that gives you a vulnerable aura that many girls practice in front of a mirror. And those eyes of yours are truly windows to your soul. Pure and unblemished. If you put life back into your smile, then perhaps you can give all the broadway models a run for their money. You are like a beautiful broken porcelain doll."
"I actually have come here to make that final jump. Thanks for your kind words. You have a wonderful poetic heart."
"Poetic heart? Thats so....Byronic. Its more fucked up heart. I am here for the jump too. Say, why dont we fly together?"
"Fly where?"
"Anywhere from here. Anywhere you want to. As long as I can tag along with you." I can't believe it. I am flirting with this girl and my life is almost over. Almost, but not quite.
"I always wanted to see the sunset from a beach. Shall we go there then?" We were both smiling by now. I was unnaturally calm and serenely happy. I took her hand in mine and we smiled at each other.
"See you at the beach." And then we jumped.

It felt as though I was watching a tennis match. They were good opponents each winning a point with every argument they made. "They" here refers to my cousin and her dear husband. Specators - me and their 7 year old son. We (that would be me and the kid) were happily eating cotton candy and watching Popoye show when this so called tennis match started. The reason was quite simple (atleast in my opinion) - he forgot to get her a gift and blah, blah, blah on Valentines day. A dull ache was picking up on the bridge of my nose. Suddenly from a silent speactator, I was promoted to match referee. The ache had now spread to my eyebrows.
"He does this everytime." She whined. I hate whiny voices. I took off my specs and gave her a toothy smile. It was going to be a long evening.
"Its just a dumb day. 15 years back, you didn't even know that this celebration even existed. Now so called Valentine's day has become a big commercial gimmick to make gullible women like you spend more and media is going to have a field day interviewing any random couple who walk on the street. Its simply overrated celebration. Seriously, I dont know why you are making a big deal out of this." Apparently this wasn't the right thing to say.
"We celebrate so many festivals. I enjoy those holidays and enjoy the ethnicity that comes with that package. Aren't these festivals commercialized? Of course they are. Every channel comes with special programs and you have a dozen film stars wishing you in any channel you tune into. Still, we shrug off that bit and choose to ignore the fact that these festivals are as overrated now as Valentine's day and still celebrate with all pomp and glory in the name of tradition. So, why not valentines day?" The girl had a bit of point here. Time to change tactic. Perhaps I need to glorify her husband a bit here. He is a sweet young man. A bit dense to be frank when it comes to matters like these, but he is an awesome dad.
"I completely understand if you want to channel your frustration of having to tell your friends about your non-existant romantic valentine evening with your husband, but I'll tell you this; he is the most romantic person I have ever seen. Including you." He almost fell off his chair, she was staring at with her eyes wide and her mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water which was quite funny to see. I had this confident fake smile on my face and now the ache had spread till my temples. After full five minutes she started laughing.
"That was a good joke. I really needed that laugh. He is the least romantic person I ever happen to meet. Even my son who is all of 7 years is more romantic towards the little girl who comes to his painting class." Her husband glared at her, the kid had the grace to blush and I started to rub my temples. Now, it was war.
"This whole romanticism is a perception thing. People like him see romanticism in most ordinary and most mudane things of everyday life. They are not the kind of people who proclaim their promise of commitment on top of their lungs. Candle light dinner perhaps would make them uncomfortable and might feel that spending an entire evening in a blanket of shimmer and glamour in the name of romance is a big waste of time. They are very rare. They are subtle romantics." Take that sister.
"Basically you want me to assume that there is romanticism."
"No. Not assumption. Here is the theory. People see what they want to see. If they don't see it the way they want to see, then they assume that its absent. Got it? You want to see all the cliched things that a college guy does to impress his little girlfriend, but your husband is not a college guy anymore. I believe things are seen pretty differently once you are married. Its just more maturity than a college romance." Have you ever hit your head on any hard surface repeatedly, say for fifteen minutes? That was the intensity of ache in my head. I hoped she would shut up for sometime.
"I have never noticed something like that in him. I would have noticed if he even attempted to do something remotely what you are saying." Ooooh...she is caving in. This is the time to make her feel damn guilty about the entire blaming thing and give her husband a little peace. The poor thing was watching cartoon with his kid.
"Oh come on, even I have noticed certain things. Like the other day, he got thick curtains for your gallery without you telling him to do so because he knew that you would be working in the gallery in afternoons and there is a shade of sun coming in during early afternoon. Like he switches on the AC as soon as you come out of the kitchen because he realises that it would have been really hot in there. Like he skipping dinner every thursday in the name of diet but in reality he accompanying you in your fast. Little things, mundane things which you wouldn't even acknowledge unless you pay attention to makes him the most romantic person I have ever seen. Try seeing things in him rather than his creativity on a valentine day." I had a full blown migrane by now. If she is going to be stubborn about this, they can continue with the argument from where they had left off. I seriously was exhausted.
"Hmm....maybe you are right." Her husband had an idiotic grin on his face, she had a small smile of acceptance and aplogies and I sighed. It was suddenly very quiet in there. Even the kid stared at me blankly as though asking - "What did you do to my parents? They are on mute!!" Now they were making all ga ga eyes at each other, she was blushing and he was still grinning like a fool. Totally pathetic and yucky. I had to do something. So I told her.
"I still can't believe he didn't even wish you on valentines day. Hell, I even saw our neighbour's grand pa giving a rose (stolen from our garden) to grand ma. You both are useless." The bickering started after a minute. I went back to watching Popye and finishing half eaten cotton candy. My migraine started to disappear and this time, I ignored their arguments. Sometimes, truth is overrated.

I watched this movie -The Number 23 now and frankly I felt Jim Carrey is getting depressing. The concept of the movie lies around number 23 where he starts seeing everything around him boiling down to 23. His date of birth is 2/3, his full name adds up to 23. He lives at #1418 where 14+18 makes 32 - 23 in reverse or 14+1+8=23 or 1+4+18=23. Thus he gives a lot of examples from his life (he met his wife on 4/19 -4+19=23 at 2:15 PM. The needles of the clock are on 2 and 3, etc). The obesession of this number leads to a climax where he has to make a choice. (Doesn't all cliched movies do???) So, being the hero he makes the right one. The interesting part of the entire movie was one dialogue that intrigued me the most. A psychiatrist tells Walter Sparrow (Jim Carrey) -"You can see anything if you want to see them in the way you want them to be." If you want to see 23, you can see 23 in everything you do. Words of a wise man. Jim Carrey has supposedly named his company as JC23. Howzzat?

PS: While I was watching the movie, there is this address thing that I have mentioned above. The way their residence number sums up to 23.

Well, my house number is 1764 on 5th cross.
1+7+6+4+5= Three guesses what!

Well, the weekend has officially started. And since I am completely fine and dandy I thought I need to celebrate it a bit differently. Also, I had to come out of my pathetic wallowing . (I don't even remember the reason why I was feeling so....morbid in the first place!!!).
So I did 3 things this evening -

Got a hair cut (Imagine Dana Scully in X-Files somewhere in seasons 5/6/7. Chopped hair till nape of my neck and careless strands on my face. Best hairstyle ever!)
Nails painted in dark blue. (The lady at the counter who sold me this asked me if it was for a fancy dress!!! I gave her a goofy grin and ran out of the shop!)
Went on a long drive at around 9 PM in my night dress (a worn out Old Navy T-Shirt and slacks without any footwear. Yes sirreee....bare feet. Thankfully my bike never gave up on me)

The ride was wonderful, I look tom-boyish and my hands have a goth look. I belive I have started a wonderful weekend. And hopefully it stays wonderful!!!...

"So what do you think about me?"
"You want honest answers right? I mean you have this thing for honesty."
"Oh come on! Who doesn't want an honest answer?"
"I don't. I prefer made up, superficial and fake answers. They keep me happy."
"Can you just answer my question please?"
"Fine! Are you sure you are ready for this?"
"Why don't you answer my goddamn question!"
"I think you are a hard working insomniac."
"Oh.."
"And also a highly committed eccentric neurotic."
"You just didn't call me neurotic!"
"N-E-U-R-O-T-I-C."
"Jerk."
"You asked for my 'honest' opinion!"
"Yeah I did. Now am not sure if you just insulted me or gave me compliments. You know you are one of the few people I know who thinks I am not weird."
"You are not weird. Definitely not. You have to be institutionalized."
It seems a very long ago since I have had this conversation. We had talks like these while cooking or cleaning or generally loafing around. We spent hours sitting idle in front of TV watching dumb shows, drinking juice when hungry and getting up only if we have to use the rest room. Its been two years since she moved out. I met her last evening and the conversation that we had was filled with awkward pauses, forced smiles and constantly looking at watch. What changed in two years? What changed between us that has made us so uncomfortable with each other to an extent that we can't hold a decent conversation for more than a minute? I don't know at all.

Am down with high fever. Off from office :-)