“What’s with the back pack?”
Have you seen these people who travel all over the world looking for an adventure, searching for new things and learning about new cultures? They seem so accomplished, worldly wise and ironically they would not have toured their own country. It’s kind of taken for granted that something that is nearby is always easily attainable. I paused for a couple of minutes. Actually, I came here today to take a train to this place which is an hour ride from here. The place is rich in its cultural history, fine arts and what not so we thought we can check it out; kind of a field trip you know.
“We?”
I studiously ignored the question and continued with my rambling. I still had an hour to the train and I was already in the right platform. All I had to do now was to wait; for the train and for her. I had no problem in waiting as it gave me a lot of time to think and ponder, observe people around me and simply talk without any inhibitions. It’s really hard to be that way with another human being, given the fear of judgmental attitude that all of us seem to possess. I cannot callously speak about something and expect people to accept it as my point of view. Even though ideally that’s how it should be, but its not how it is. Between what we are and who we should be, comes our society. I am really glad that I have two such personalities in my life. I can ramble on my thoughts, literally think out aloud and get away with it. I am not scared of being mocked up on for my line of thought nor am I scared of the fact that after I finish my rambling, my friends would think of me otherwise. It’s a nice secured feeling.
“I take it it’s your friend from your class who is accompanying you in your journey.”
The statement is so loaded and so ironic on so many levels that I simply let it slide. I just nodded my acknowledgement. She asked me if I was interested and I had nothing else to do, being summer vacation and everything. I purposely deviated from the topic. Each and every one of us starts off as a blank slate; be it relationship or otherwise. Over the years things get written and get committed to our memories. We make memories as we go along, sometimes documenting in a tangible way of pictures, journal entries, greeting cards, gifts, trinkets and sometimes these memories are safely hidden in the crevices of the brain. It’s logical for a person to revisit these memories during the course of life. There was a time when I believed that hanging on to memories crippled me in way that slowed down my movement towards future. Off late I have realized that it’s not too bad to revisit old conversations, read a year old journal entry; it gave me an entirely different perspective of myself. It scared and elated me at the same time. My actions have defined me what I am today. I remember my first conversation with you ten months ago. It wasn’t one of my best days nor was I the best of company. If I remember correctly, I was contemplating on life, its meaning and my existence. Everything seems to have changed since then but everything still remains the same. I still get scared of bullies in my school, I still am an average student, I still dislike sports, my parents still try to figure out what I am; but amidst all these, I have a friend at school whose sanity is alluring, I have a friend in you to talk about everything and nothing and I have rest of my life to figure out what the heck is this life is all about. I might skid, fall down and scrape my knee during this journey, but I am sure either you or her or even my parents would be there to put a band-aid and offer me a hand to get myself up. I paused to take a breath. You know, she asked me if I want to make some memories with her. For everything that has happened in last one year, for every board game that we have played and for every homework we have worked together, for every snack that we have shared, she wanted a memory that did not involve us being in school premises. I wasn’t going to deny her that. I was completely relaxed, stretched out on a bench, hands locked behind my head. I didn’t hear her sitting next to me until she started waving train tickets in front of my face. I smiled a greeting and walked towards the waiting train. I looked around the now familiar station. After all the time that I have spent here in last one year, ironically this is the first time that I am actually taking a train from here. I know it was here. I know that it always will be. I was contemplating on telling her about my Saturdays that are spent here. In the end I decided to let it be for now. There would be sometime in future I would tell her about the weakest moment of my life from which a strange bonding had begun between me and a friend. I just waved at general direction hoping it would catch my drift. I was moving on, on to a different journey; it wasn’t a good bye, a simple see-you-later. or
Once the train started moving, I heard a soft “Goodbye” amongst the other noises of the train machinery. I smiled and started talking to her. “Did you know that this place has…”
“The universe has a means of bringing all the things to a full circle. For some, this circle takes a short while and for some, this time is longer. It battles every day with every living and non-living thing to gain equilibrium of some sorts, a complete balance of everything; right and wrong, yin and yang, black and white, happiness and sorrow; as nothing is ever ideal or perfect, this is never attained and thus we have some being happy and some…not. I have seen that human life has more variables than absolute constants. Unlike constants, variables make life messy, unpredictable and make the results exciting. Till these variables exist, my story exists…and so do I.”
Labels: Original fiction - Series
0 commentsIt’s because I know that life is a luxury, I prefer to live it rather than spending it.
I think it’s the slump of my shoulders that gave away my guilt. Or is it just the fact that am standing on this platform hands in my pocket, looking everywhere and nowhere, choking on my own spit and desperately getting some words out. There were no promises of next time; there were no ‘see you later’, yet all I could muster was “I am sorry.” I don’t know what I am apologizing for and I was grateful when it didn’t press further. Awkwardness was the last thing that I wanted.
“I heard that an old man who practically lived in this railway station died this morning. But nothing looks different.”
“Well, what did you expect?”
“You know, couple of weeks ago I saw my parents reading some material which they successfully managed to hide as soon as they spotted me. I thought it was some X-rated material that adults read and hide them from their children thinking that their children are too innocent to read. I was totally gung-ho about it for the entire week and was really curious to know what they were reading when I wasn’t around. I snooped around the house one afternoon and found that material hidden between a copy of ‘
“You cannot really ‘figure’ someone out. Psychology, at its core is simply a set of standard behavior traits of human race in a certain socio-cultural demographic setting. Most of you humans originate from common gene pool, thus diluting these traits over thousands of years of evolution yet carrying something common. So it’s not hard to come to a logical conclusion about behavior of an individual based on the traits that they portray. Your conclusion might not be perfectly accurate, but you will not be far off from the bulls-eye either.”
“Is this a round about way of telling me that I am over analyzing things and acting like a five year old?” The gentle humming in the background simply affirmed my statement.
“There is a metaphorical screen between your ears and brain. The ears hear the things perfectly, but this screen interprets the words that are heard and sends it to the brain. During this juncture, the rules are applied. These rules have been formed over the course of your lifetime based on your experiences, intellect, knowledge and reasoning. ”
“Point of view. Perception. ”
“You know it has changed. I would not be here today whining about my adolescent angst if there were no changes in my perception.”
“Here we are, surrounded by people, all immersed in their hectic lives, searching for a place to belong. A place where they are accepted just the way they are with flaws and everything and to meet that one person with whom they can connect. And once that connection happens it seems as if the last clue to the puzzle has been put in its place and everything would have a meaning; a new meaning.”
“What you thought was the last minutes of your life were actually dawn of a new beginning which has made you who you are today. Isn’t life a celebration of these beginnings?”
Labels: Original fiction - Series
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