Ever since an average work day started consisting of too many meetings and one too many phone calls, I had enough time to contemplate when one of the meeting invitees started droning. Given the types of meetings I have been in for the last one week, these contemplations have only intensified. In the run that all of us are in, the most important differentiating aspect narrows down to acknowledgement and recognition from peers, superiors et al. At one time (a decade or so ago) I believed this acknowledgement and appreciation (which is synonymous to recognition) was a motivation factor which one would need for a continuous development and self improvement. My belief has always been that criticism, feedback are two things which one would need to be a better programmer or person or whatever.
However, in past few years all this motivation, recognition and similar adjectives seemed pretty naive and juvenile. Why should it be that way at all?
When one's work, one's talent and one's intelligence starts being evlauated by a third party's acceptance of the same, the credibility of self integrity is completely lost.
I got an interesting email from a senior manager who shared a similar concern. The whole system around us is designed in a way where every tiny little thing we do is somehow or the other requires a stamp of approval. If that does not exist, then everything that the person has done and is capable of is shoved under the carpet.
Its reality and its disgusting.
Its not very surprising to find the same trend creeping all over us. When the whole trend is being catered towards normalizing a group, to make the system more predictible and mediocre, anything outside the boundary would look like an anamoly. Unlike Neo, this anamoly is doomed to self destruction; either be a part of race or wither away to oblivion.
The cost is great, yes, but definitely not as expensive as choosing the alternative.
This is me giving up. I am completely giving up on my expectation on people to recognize people for what they are and not for what others think about them.
This is me giving up trying to figure out if there is something severely lacking in me to be in the state I am in.
This is me giving up always being surprised about the lack of acknowledgment (I do not care for recognition and all that crap).
I just give up. Labels: frustration, meetings
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Few random facts I have been meaning to write
- I don't know why I get friend request from random people. (this is in I-F by the way) I think I get most number of "Tell me how old you are" requests. If for any other forum, I would have deemed that kinky.
- NCIS is damn distracting. I wrote the last point a hundred or so minutes ago.
- Some moron called my poetry as lyrics to a famous song that she somehow missed.
- Damn it! Yet another episode of NCIS and now its 3 hours since I started this post.
- I have been living off green tea since morning. There is something in it definitely which makes me hyper active.
- People reserve posts for comments and just leave it that way forever. Why so? Its weird and such a waste of cyber spce.
- I started writing this post at 9 AM this morning and its 7:45 in evening now. Darn it! NCIS again. I am already half way through season three and I am loving it.
- I met my mom's cousin's son this evening. The last time I saw him he was six year old who had started wailing as I pinched his cheek. I was five then.
- I wear two plaits when I am at home these days. Something I started couple of weeks back just to get hair out of my eyes and now I love it.
- I am back in Orkut. God knows why!
Labels: Daily random facts
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My dad and I dislike poha. A lot. But mom prepares it quite often given the fact that its easy to prepare. Mom: Poha is healthy. It has lots of minerals. Iron.
Dad: When you say Poha, I-run.
I snickered, dad smiled, mom glared at both of us.
I skipped breakfast feigning heavy dinner last night and taking it slow. Dad chucks his plate down with a huge glass of juice and mom eats delicately all of two and half spoons and announces that she is on diet.
All in all, a good morning.
Labels: daily life
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