Is there such a place in the world where mind is at absolute peace? I read an interesting article that says that though mind is a powerful being that has immense capability to create, this creation process gets a huge boost in a conductive environment. The mind has to work harder to achieve focus which otherwise would have been easier in a different environment.

Also a thought - is it all willpower driven to think and not to think? I am sure there is therapy and such, there are exercises which help to think otherwise but making a decision to not-to-think, is that sufficient? Or is a massive distraction necessary to steer mind away from such thoughts?

I should have been surprised but I am not. Willingness isn't sufficient. The perjury of the distraction came easily and it was mild. Unfortunately it collapsed the focus I was going for as the distraction was technical in nature.

I have noticed sometimes the distraction is a random word that pops in my head and I fall down that rabbit hole. How not to chase?

Focus has been a problem. Concentration has escaped me. Aloofness towards things around me is missing. And all of this is affecting my work. Its been a hard road for a serious amount of time to get where I am - a position where I can work in a schedule set by me, for clients chosen by me and work in the way I want to.

I wonder if it has led to a lack of discipline - accessibility has made take things and time for granted. I am at a point where getting an hour of absolute concentration is celebrated and needs absolute silence to achieve it. It wasn't so before. It wasn't so a decade ago when I could get in the zone with in 10 minutes and the rest of the world lay forgotten.

Is it simply a decision like everything else in life is? Like, just decide and say - "Okay. This is it. I am going to work carefully and ignore internet, phone calls and whatever else that can distract me."

Let's find out tonight.

I haven't picked up a book in three weeks. Its been tough few days keeping up with new work and wrapping up old ones. When I do find time, I just want to play Solitaire and watch SNL clips on Youtube. Few laughs, few games and that's enough to wind up a hectic day. Words don't sink in my brain anymore and they almost seem like a chore.

Today, I am planning to pick up a graphic novel - Alan Moore wrote a short arc on Green lantern that's supposed to be really good and is critically acclaimed for the storytelling. Let's see how it goes.