I am running away from reality, as fast as i could.
and trying not to look back, so as to prevent my eye from tearing.
Weekend is here...worst week has passed...
Friday, July 24, 2009
I should be certified as an insane person. Or masochistic. Or both. I knew what the answer was going to be. It should not have mattered. It had happened before. Yet, the silly hope and the illogical happiness that I had felt during last weekend was crashing all around me starting Monday. First it was something very stupid; like people making mistakes knowingly to get me into trouble. Who does that these days? Oh yeah, there is recession and that has made many people jobless. Tuesday was fairly uneventful. Just machine crashed making me lose my work of five hours, but it was still OK. Wednesday, dumb monsoon, late to office, Solar eclipse, tonnes of work. Kept on wondering why people snub me on blogs? Thursday was worst perhaps to confirm the things that I already knew. It should not have hurt, but it did. I should not have asked, but I did. I should have ended the conversation when I had the chance. But I did not.
And now I cannot meet the eye. Jesus, someone please kill me for my stupidity.
Oh well. Today, I see someone has fully blocked me from their mailing list. I don't know the reason but I did research all my older messages to see if I have written something offensive. I am really not sure what the reason is. But I cannot contact the person at all. Oh well, good it happened toady. At least I have one disappointment/hurt less for next week. I was talking to a friend from blog this morning and was wondering the whole day about her words. I came of as cold, calculative and unapproachable. I know that. I know that because my friends have told me that when they met me in person, that was their first impression. But how can people judge over blog, over few words I have written? It is very unsettling to know that I am being constantly judged by the stories that I write and not for the person that I am. OK, well, I know I don't have an awesome personality but I don't think I repel anyone either. But now, I am not too sure. The whole week has left a bitter taste in my mouth. Ugh!