Running away

It’s because I know that one should choose either to change or to die, I prefer to change.

I came to the station this Wednesday you know. I came here with my childhood friend. Last week my mom ran to his mom in the supermarket and they decided that their children have to meet. I asked that guy to meet me in this station. I was feeling so weird to come here on a day which was not a Saturday. There weren’t many people around and it was quite peaceful at that time. If he was very surprised at the choice of my meeting place, he didn’t show it. I remember him from my younger days. He was this short little kid always jumping in the class to answer a question that teacher had asked. We used to walk home everyday from school. He was my first best friend. But I was really disappointed when I met him. I know people change. I know changes are inevitable. I even know that perhaps twenty years down the line I would fail to acknowledge the fact that I was border line suicidal in my younger days. But knowing things never really heal the hurt when you feel everything has changed. Perhaps that hurts the most; even after knowing that change is inevitable we still fail to accept things. I was not disappointed in what he did. I was disappointed because of what he didn’t do. It’s strange isn’t it? We humans are this way. Instead of appreciating what is good in a person, we first see what is not there in a person. Isn’t that the reason why so many Jews died in that holocaust? They didn’t die because they where Jews. They died because they weren’t something else. Last week I told you about that nerdy girl from my class right? Well yesterday she just came to me and asked me if I can play ping pong with her. Even before my brain processed what she was talking about, I heard her mutter that I should welcome changes. She just dragged me to the table and shoved a ping pong bat in my hands and we started playing. Then she said it.

“I cannot see you slip away into some kind oblivion. Even an eccentric idiot like you deserves a break. I don’t know if your problem is in your perception of things or it’s your inability to change. Perhaps you are the only kid in this class who hasn’t changed since we joined this institution. It’s a comforting thought that there are some things and some people around us always remain the same. Like a scenery. I don’t want you to be scenery.

Just like life, change happens too. You need to accept it and move on. Sometimes changes are good, but sometimes they are not; like humans. They way you co-exist with both good and bad people, in the same way you have to live with both good and bad changes. You know I’ve always imagined a perfect life for me when I was a little girl. To grow up into a beautiful girl, get noticed, impress people, get good grades, go to nice college, get awesome job, raise a family and so on. I could achieve some of those things. I am smart; I get good grades and perhaps will get into a life college. But when everyone sees me, they see a plain nerd, no life and loser sort of girl. Some years back I told this to my mom and she told me that may be I had to change myself. I took her words literally and changed my appearance, the way I talk, the way I walk; everything. Everyone in my class mocked at me. Why wouldn’t they? One day they saw a nerd and the next day they saw the same nerd acting like a fool. No one accepts drastic changes. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t happen. I went back to being nerd. Looking pretty all the time is a tough job and I wasn’t cut out for it. There is no need to change yourself because you feel pressurized by your surroundings. And there is no need to suppress a change either, because like life, change happens; whether you like it or not.”

I am not sure what she got out of that time nor do I know what I got out of it. But I know for sure that I am going to remember the time I spent with her for a very long time. I wouldn’t say forever because like stability, forever doesn’t exist.

“When will I get to meet her?”

Soon.

Next Week: It’s because I’ve been loved that I’ve become stronger.

Labels: Original fiction - Series

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