I was disappointed to see that my regular bench in this station was already taken. Actually I was a bit early than my usual time. I had a lot of things on my mind so since morning I had just wandered around the town before ending up here.
We were studying world wars last week in my history class. You know what I observed? Of two thousand years of human history, I don’t think a single year has passed by without a war going in some parts of the world. I guess over the years us humans have been perfecting the art of killing each other. It was basically a peace propaganda done by schools to reduce fist fights in school premises. When I read about wars and battles, in many cases I find it amazing how they can give away their lives as if they were giving loose change to a homeless person. When a person commits suicide, at least they are doing it for themselves even if their reasons are sometimes downright dumb. Can an idea, can a feeling, can an emotion be so strong that one can give away life for the sake of others? Perhaps there is huh!
My history teacher stopped me in the hallway to have an idle chit chat. She wanted to know why I am always alone and have a faraway look in my eyes. Tell me is it really possible to read those things in someone’s eyes? It’s simply a guessing game I believe. She said I need to feel good about myself and start to appreciate myself a little. That bugged me a lot you know. First of all I don’t know what qualities I have. Secondly, if I did have some qualities, how would I know if they are good or bad? It’s possible that what is good to me might not be good to others. I didn’t tell my teacher all of this, but I told that nerd from my class when I met her after school for a game of Weiqi. I don’t hate myself or anything, but I don’t see anything great about me either. Right and wrong are so dependent on a person’s perception. Last year I convinced my older cousin to give me a cigarette. I had academic exposure to cons of smoking. I still wanted to try it and look cool for a change. I tried a cigarette, coughed a great deal and gave up smoking after four puffs. In the end, the smell it left in my mouth wasn’t worth any tones of coolness that I might acquire with a cigarette in my hand. I never considered that smoking is a wrong thing to do. Wouldn’t that contribute to the list of bad qualities?
We bought a snack right outside the school. My nerdy friend complimented the man who prepared the snack. The guy was blushing listening to her praise. I agree that the snack he made was very tasty, but I really didn’t know why she made such a big deal out of it. I rarely see anyone appreciating food eaten on roadside shops. Hell, I don’t remember complimenting my mom for a meal. She gave me reasons for her action.
“That man stands here for hours hoping that he would sell everything he has got for the day. For people like him, livelihood is quite tough. I liked the snack that he made, so I complimented him. He knows that he makes good snacks from the fact that we buy from him everyday. But what makes him truly happy is when he hears that he prepares them really well. We come across so many people in our day to day lives who contribute to our lives in their own small way. Snack vendors, garbage collectors, news paper delivery man, milk man, electricians and so on. We pay for their services of course, but with them being there, our lives have become a little easier. If I am happy with their services, then I tell them that they have done a good job. Acknowledge and appreciate any good thing that comes your way. The person responsible would be truly satisfied.”
I hadn’t really thought about it this way you know.
“One cannot find out the good qualities in herself of himself. It doesn’t work that way. A person can truly believe that they possess a certain quality, when they are told by someone else. Yes, that’s why your friend appreciates all nameless faces with whom you interact quite frequently. When you are doing a job, your salary is not a reward. It’s a payment for your services, skill and time. The real reward is when someone pats on your back and says, ‘That was a job well done mate!’ Humanity is truly amusing in this factor. No matter how powerful a man becomes, a sincere compliment would make him feel humble. No one in this world is too busy to acknowledge someone’s work. Perhaps that would be the lamest excuse ever!
You feel good about yourself when someone tells you first that they like you. By liking you, they are accepting you the way you are; with your flaws. Do you know what kind of a powerful feeling that is to know that no matter what your short comings are, there are some people around you who like you just the way you are? Most kids experience that kind of affection from their parents and relatives. As they grow up, things get less verbal and somehow everyone expects things to be understood in a subtle way. When there is no open expression of appreciation, it’s hard to believe if that feeling really exists. I like you. This is not an act of sympathy. I am just expressing what I feel. You are somewhere in between how it is and how it should be. That makes you a pretty tough nut to crack.
So, I gather she must have told you that she likes you by now. ”
Shut up.
Labels: Original fiction - Series
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