Running away

Here I am, stranded in the middle of nowhere with a flat tire. After the photo shoot I had changed to street clothes and went on a drive. There was more than one thing on my mind and frankly I didn't give much thought on the route. We came to this place last night (which is miles away from the city) which is famous for its spectacular sunrise. Everyone had retired in their trailers/cars/tents for the day. I thought it was too beautiful a day to be cooped up in small enclosures. I barely heard to the cameraman advising me to apply enough sun screen. "I don't want our super model to look inconsistently tanned." I had nodded and fled from the set. My thoughts were like bright patches of colors on a clean white sheet. "Super model..." I have never understood that categorization. What is super model? I am a professional model. I walk on ramps, dress up as my designer says, attend photo shoot, do an ad here and there, some partying and thats it. I never see anything super about it. I would consider myself as a popular model, than a super model. Super model sounds....snobbish. I came out of my reverie when I heard the sound of tire bursting. Cell phone wasn't working and there wasn't a single soul in sight. I was feeling oddly lonely and secretly longed for a companion. In fifteen minutes my wish was granted.
She was perhaps my age, riding a bicycle wearing an old salwaar kameez. I stopped her for directions.
"You are that super model aren't you." Well, so much for being mysterious and anonymous.
"I am a model, yes. Look, my car has a flat, can you show the route to the nearest town? I need to make a phone call."
"Sure. I will take you there." Whew! I like nature as much as I like my moisturizing lotion, but I believe there are some people who can simply melt in sunlight, I being one of them.
"Thank You. Your help is much appreciated." At this she laughed.
"Don't thank me. I am not doing you any favor. You just happened to cross my path and since I am on my way to the town, I am simply letting you to join me as my companion. Town is not that far but its not close by either. I thought I could use some company." And here I thought I was the conceited one !!!
"Thank you for letting me walk with you." I made sure sarcasm was evident in my voice. I sneered at her. She didn't seem to mind. She just shrugged. Talk about thick skin!!!
"You are welcome princess. But first off, what are you doing in this part of the country? Isn't it a tad backward for your wild parties?" She grinned. I simply rolled my eyes.
"Photo shoot. We had to catch the sunrise at the exact time. Timing was the key thing. So we were ready with everything by 4 AM. And to think, I thought models had it all when they were young." I shook my head. Sometimes, I question myself, is this really worth it?
"Is this really worth it? I know this profession is not a simple cookie. No matter what you feel, you have to paste a smile on your face, ignore perverted salivating gazes, bear the ache in legs, look fantastic and what not. You cannot take a stroll like this back in the city without getting mobbed. Isn't freedom a great sacrifice to pay for a highly successful career?" She read my mind. If I was in my normal frame of mind I would have asked her to go to hell or slapped her or maybe both. Yes, it was honest, but its something you don't ask a celebrity on their face. At least not without a camera!!! I was feeling strangely melancholic, so I humored her with an answer.
"I dreamed about this when I was young. Everyone who comes to this profession knows what they are getting into. Its not like its been thrust in my throat. I chose this life. I enjoy being in limelight. Not everyone can handle themselves well when they are cornered. I get bullied by reporters. Some of the crew undress me with their eyes. I bite my lip and ignore them. I get mobbed by people who think I am some kind of extraordinarily talented person or super beautiful or they just want to brag to their friends that they got to touch me. Its an escape for them from their own reality. After I fade from their sight, they remember their unpaid electricity bill, plumbing problems and jealousy about a neighbor who bought a new mixer. But for that one moment, I have shown them the paradise. Coming to sacrifices, be it any profession, we keep sacrificing, we keep compromising and we convince ourselves that we are extremely independent and carefree. In reality, we are not even close to that." That was oddly stimulating. I felt.....light...free. Talking about what I have been thinking isn't that bad.
"I for one am sure that I have not made any sacrifices."
"Everyone makes sacrifices. No matter how rich you are or how poor you are. Because, success becomes such a priority. I am not talking about the sacrifice of you giving your meal to your dog because your dog was hungry. I am talking about something thats more subtle. Compromising on morals, sacrificing your pride, letting go of your true passion; I am talking about these things." I was choking up. Hell, I never ever talked about these. I blame my behavior on this environment. Perhaps there are some weird bacteria around which affects your brain.
"I see."
"When there is success, all these things seems so silly, so petty. You would think all the sacrifices were worth it. But one day it will come back and haunt you; even if its only for a minute."
"You still think its worth it? Look at you, you are bawling in front of a townie. Aren't you scared that I am a reporter in disguise and recording everything you are saying?"
"Today, here in this crappy road, in a town far away from glitz and glamor, I particularly don't care if you print all the things I have said. You know why? Because its worth it. I still believe its worth it. I chose this profession. I chose knowing what I will be getting into. Once you make a choice, you either put up or shut up. There are no other options. I get 15 seconds to impress a consumer when I do an ad. How many people have that power? I have 2 minutes to blow customers off their feet when I walk the ramp. I have only a moment to take breaths away of young teenage girls when they look at my picture. That makes my job worth it. Because even its for a second, I have shown them Paradise."
I was feeling a lot better once I finished my little speech. Respect to myself had increased by a notch. I saw a couple of cars coming our way and they were indeed from my unit. In couple of minutes there were too many people around me somehow breaking the gentle serenity that was present. Amidst all the fuss, I turned at her and shoved my card into her hand.
"Here. This card has my personal cell phone number. Not more than a dozen people have this number. Come and meet me when you come to city."
"No." I oddly felt hurt. Getting turned down was not new to me. And no it wasn't because of the pride factor. It was just...it just...hurt.
"No?"
"No. When I come to city, I will call you and you come and meet me." She smiled at me gently. With a small wave she walked away towards the town without ever looking back.