Someday I'll fly...
Someday I'll soar...
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John Mayer There have been very few instances in my life, where I have woken up in the morning, looked out of the window and appreciated the sunshine. There was always a rush, an urgency to go somewhere or to do something. I never stopped to smell the fresh air when I went to work or sit by the pond to watch the sunset. There never was a time for such things. I was always running a race. I don’t know if that race was my life or if it was my lifestyle. Every morning it was the same routine that I followed. I had joined the run before even I realized it was a race. In the beginning it was just a race for grades, then for job, then for the odd little things that I did to keep my family and society happy. I did my job well and had fun in the evenings. I did the right things, said the right words, married the right person, got the right job, and took the right vacation. But was I leading the right life? The way I wanted to? I will never know. Time always bound me to one or the other chore. Or did I bind myself?
I have always had a dream. In that dream I am an Eagle. Racing the wind to the horizon. I smile at sunshine, whisper to the wind. I play hide-and-seek with the clouds; sometimes flying steadily, sometimes making circular movements in the clouds that looks like little whirlpools in an ocean. I dive down fast towards the ground; I brush myself with the leaves of the laughing trees. I shake off the dust as I rise again to fly towards the sky as though I own the sky. I fly where the waft of breeze takes me to. I am driven by the feeling of flying rather than reaching the destination. As the sun goes down, I join twilight melodies of other birds. I hear them. I listen to them. Beneath the stars is present a different world. Chilling breeze, stars and moonlight; I talk to the stars, share news with the moon, share a smile with the night after spending a beautifully day with nature. This is my dream. This is a dream that is so exclusive to me that no one can rob me of it. My life might not resemble an iota of my dream, but dream is all I have. If anyone takes that away from me, I am left with nothing. Not even my soul. I cannot do it now. Before I could say," Stop! Now let me lead my life", time stopped me. I have become a slave of the Time. I look back at my life, all 80 years of it and realize, maybe it would have been different if I had been a little impulsive rather than being organized. It would have been different if I had trekked for a couple of times, rather than sitting in shade, drinking lemonade and watching others trek. I would pack less on a vacation. Replace the box of mineral water with a parachute. I wouldn't have taken an umbrella when it rained but would have walked out and get myself soaked to skin. I would watch more sunsets and have a monologue with the stars. Read poetry to ducks in the nearby pond. Laugh at a silly joke that was read a long time back. I just want to enjoy every little thing that is around me. I would sit by the lake and watch sunset with my family than watching a movie. I would go out on picnics in the woods than going to a fantasy park. I want to coo little babies in their mother's arms making silly faces at them.
All I want is a life of merriment spent with the ones dear to my heart.
Maybe I would have packed my bags right away for the weekend if I hadn’t known I am dying of cancer.