I wonder how it would be if I took a solitary road trip across the country. Mom would be calling me 10 times a day and dad 10 times. Separately. My brother would call me once a day and some friends would call me regularly too. At least I hope they do. But I seriously wonder if taking a road trip is possible in any way. Lets say in some way I do manage to get a car with a permit and chalk out a route that I would take. If I cover all the logistics of sleeping arrangements, financial support, car arrangement and somehow convince my parents that I need to do this, but will I be able to do it? One too many times I have felt this suffocation amidst people. There is this sudden urge to get away from everything and everyone. Just be somewhere which is not here. I wonder if anyone has felt anything like this before. It must be the cynical part of me that wants to shun people out, but I wonder if thats what I really need to do. So, traveling alone in the country for sometime would give me the satisfaction of getting away from lots of things - work, family, friends, relatives, reading; Everything. I would want to give up everything that defines me, loves me and makes me a part of who I am for sometime and find out if thats what I really am. Before I get committed for all the mandatory things of this society, I would love to experience a chosen loneliness, away from everyone and maybe finding a serene tranquility that only I can define, understand and appreciate. This is definitely not an identity crisis. This thought did cross my mind if thats what it was. And I couldn't have been happier to realize that it is not an identity issue. I am too detached from things to be worried about identity or its pros and cons and too old to even get that thought. Really, Identity Crisis sounds a little teenagish (Teenagish- sheesh, its not even a word!!). Quite frankly, I don't give a damn about it. (Then why the hell am I explaining???) I have started to put together a map. A map for a road trip that I might take or it would be something I would be telling my grandchildren that "this is what I wanted to do." I don't know for sure, but it sure sounds like a good idea.
So wanna join me? :-)
A friend of mine had muttered this on a warm spring evening on the shores of the Arabian Sea -
"Home is anywhere you are". I never got to ask her who "you" was. Her wistful voice and a faraway look had somehow shut me up.